Who am I? Beyond the veil of illusion, beyond the masks that I wear daily to fit myself into the structure of society, beyond all the roles, identities, self-images, and made-up stories.
Have you ever looked into the depth of your being, unraveling layers and layers of conditioning, only to discover that, when you finish peeling the layers off, there is nothing left of you?
I am not my body, because my body is always changing and never stays the same. I am not my name, because I can change my name too. I am not my profession, because I can change my profession by getting a new qualification. I am not my thoughts, because my thoughts come and go like the clouds floating by in the sky – one second, they are here and the next they are gone. I am not my emotions, because they flow like water. I am not my feelings, because my feelings keep changing according to the thoughts that I am thinking. I am not my beliefs, because my beliefs keep changing when I decide to reprogram my mind and create new thought patterns. I am not this and I am not that.
Yet, I exist. So who is the existing self, and who is the one asking the question, and who is the one observing the existing me?
Let’s pretend that I am pure consciousness, the spark of the Divine, the unlimited fractal of light, the light of the Creator. I have been created in the image of Source and decided to forget my divine nature so that I could discover it again. I compressed my energy and projected my light in a way that created an avatar self, the self that exists in the third dimension.
First, I was so close to remembering where I have come from, and I was content just being me, I was joyous just because I existed, I was free and open because my nature was that. However, over time, as I started to adapt to the material third-dimensional existence, conditioned with limiting beliefs, that pushed further away from my inner knowing of my true self and replaced it with lack of consciousness, limitations of the ego, I’ve let go of my innocence to survive in the polarized world.
The patterns set in stone and before I knew it, many years passed and I found myself unhappy, diseased, struggling to find any joy, suffering from my thoughts, limiting beliefs, heavy emotions, regretful choices of the past. I didn’t know who I was anymore, whose life I was living, where I was going, and what for?
And so I started to ask myself “Who Am I?” – the most important question one could ever ask themselves. The Self that has been forgotten, started to emerge. My identity as I knew it could no longer exist, crisis after crisis I just couldn’t place myself. My true identity is beyond the comprehension of the limited self I call by my name.
The Self that was emerging called me back home, the feeling so profound that it leaves you in sweetest tears of joy of unity, and the deep-seated pain of long-time abandonment.
Healing is making ourselves whole again. Ultimately, true healing is the realization of the Divine Self.